Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Ja sam stigla sigurno!

Meaning I´ve arrived safely!

All three flights went smoothly with the only major bummer being the 5 plus hour layover
in Amsterdam. Mostly because I knew that despite having more than enough time to make a b-line for the nearest pot cafe for a sampling of their finest shubbery, the idea of having to complete the last leg of the trip all toasty and roasty in the company of my ever critical parents didn´t strike me as being the best of ideas. What can I say- between my momziz knee replacement and pops´s pre parkinson hand shake they couldn´t have made the trip without me. Though the bright side is that I FINALLY got to ride on one of those kick ass little electric courtesy cars:

They obviously weren´t as thrilled as I was..

In any case I'm happy to say that after 10 years of not being here the cycling situation has exploded! Well, in the MTB sense. I've seen all of one roadie so far with everyone else being on some sort of hardtail or comfort cruiser. In any case, it's pretty bitchin'.

From what I´ve seen there are now a wealth of riding trails to be explored all over the island with gnarly scenic veiws. Good thing I brought a track bike with me! Fucking retard..

As far as any bike porn goes this is about all I´ve got for ya so far:

The raddest thing being the fact that two days after taking this photo I rolled by it again and it was still sitting there in the exact same position..

Then there was these two canidates:

If they weren´t so rusted the fuck up I´d be tempted to construct something even more useless from them..

Check this shit out though:

The best thing about these two bikes aside from most likely being free would have to be the gorgeously rusted remains of that saddle! That shit looks like something of a cod piece the tin man would've been sporting before Dorithy freed him of his rusted situation..

Anyways, thatś about all I can handle from this ffffffucking PC and wacked out keyboard with all it´s weird ass characters, impossible formatting and swarmy european backpacking internet joint stench all over the place. I´m holding out hope for a free wifi cafe of some sort where I can use my own computes. Now if you don´t mind I´ve got to get back to eye fucking all these unconscionably hott and NATURALLY tanned broads. Christ all mighty there´s more around here than I can wag my dick at!

Hope all is well in the blogishpere otherwise suckaz!


Friday, July 24, 2009

Holy shit my ass is going to fuckinnngg FRY!

I just checked the weather for my area in Croatia:

I'm so fucked!

In a good way of course but damn! Something tells me that the SPF 30 suntan lotion I bought this morning isn't going to cut it :-0

I'm totally going for the no tan line look BTW...

...noooot kiddiiiiiinnnnnng!


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This is pretty much the raddest conversion grocery getter EVER!

Fuck man this is some seriously genius type customized shit going on here!

From this:

To this:



It must be so pimp rolling through the supermarket with your own wacky self built shopping cart that YOU CAN RIDE HOME ON! So unbelievably rad!!

Great fucking job David! If someone hasn't already pinned a medal on your chest for this shit let me know so I can make and send you one myself..

A million more photos on the whole build here..


"Our idols and demons will persue us until we learn to let them go.."

My day started out as per usual with the typical not so subtle annoyances I deal with on a daily basis. Then said annoyances were suddenly interrupted when a reader informed me about this bitchtastic article written on the Hetchins website in their 'What's new' section:

Bilenky 'Tribute' Hetchins

Bilenky Cycle Works of Philadelphia have produced what they call a Tribute Hetchins. The frame is displayed at their web site [] as well as featured at various other sites including Flickr and some cycling blogs. is the source for the fotos below.

The Editor has several comments to make about this frame. One Hetchins show frame was produced in the mid 1980s featuring curved stays and seat tube.
Click here to see that bike. Hellenic stays were not part of the concept. Moreover, with only two exceptions, Hellenics did not have curved stays (much less curved seat tubes); Hellenics were straight-stayed bikes. So the combination of curved stays, Hellenic stays, and curved seat tube, at least as far as Hetchins are concerned, is a non-starter. On a genuine Hellenic-stayed bike, the seat stays (whether curved or straight) run parallel to the down tube; not on the Bilenky frame. Below are the genuine articles:

A retro-fitted Hellenic;
started out straight-stayed.

Half-curly hellenic, special order.

Secondly, unless there is some distortion of the jpeg involved, the top tube also appears to be bowed downwards on the Bilenky frame. This is no tribute to Hetchins and never appeared on any genuine Hetchins frame. It appears to this Editor to be mere excess of curvature, without any design justification. Thirdly, look closely at the top foto and note the rear tire clearance. You could fit four fingers into that gap. Why would anybody incorporate a curved seat tube, and then set the bike up with such a long wheelbase? The whole point of the curved seat tube is to get a short wheelbase by moving the rear wheel closer to the bottom bracket shell than would be possible with a straight seat tube. The result in this case is amateurish: superfluous curvature in defiance of design concept. Fourthly, the lug set, ostensibly Mag.Opus Ph II, incorporates an error we have seen on a number of other replicas: the lug extension along the top tube behind the head tube is too long. On the Bilenky frame, it is the same as on the down tube; not on a genuine Hetchins Mag.Opus Ph II. Fifthly, as with many other replicas, the curves on the stays are not accurate. If Bilenky meant this as a tribute to Hetchins, it falls short of the marque. They have juxtaposed unrelated elements and the result is a farrago which Hetchins would never have produced, certainly not together on one frame. The design is further marred by inaccuracies and errors of detail. While some Hetchins were fancier than this, Hetchins were always unified by a coherent concept, both aesthetically and functionally. In the opinion of this Editor, the Bilenky frame is no tribute to Hetchins, but an incoherent jumble. If you mix five different wines, you don't get one great wine. (No aspersions are cast upon the workmanship; only upon the design concept.) Prospective buyers be advised that if you like this frame and want a similar one, you should approach Bilenky Cycle Works, not Hetchins. David Miller's terse (one-word) comment on the Bilenky 'Tribute' made it clear that he will not produce one.


...If you're not sitting there rubbing your palms together right now in anticipatory delight, you should be cause this is gonna be good!

The biggest mistake the editor made was not thoroughly researching the subject of his little bitch rant as it pertains to the actual bicycle in question. The original concept and design COMPLETELY goes over his head. Thus rendering a good portion of his expert opinion null. Then there's also the fact that he makes the critical mistake of putting himself out there for me to tear the fuck apart. Not to mention that nothing irritates me more than a belligerent attack on friends and associates...

First of all, at no point in time did I, or did Bilenky Cycleworks make any claim nor mention of any authenticity about the bike being a Hetchins outside of the vintage lug set I acquired WHAT SO EVER. It's a TRIBUTE you fucking douches! For them to start talking shit on something they obviously didn't even take the time to really learn anything about AT ALL and then base their whole opinion on an assumption of their own questionable greatness is so fucking pathetic I can barely stand it!

What's also super annoying is the way in which the editor nit picks all the 'incongruent' aspects of the bike and build as it pertains to their own standard. Which in fact is something I wasn't actually going for AT ALL because it was built as a cooonnnncceeepppptttt. I mean, I wanted it to be hetchins-esq in that it would pay homage to the brand as being one of my favorite and most inspiring classic frame builders. Though I had no interest in conforming to their building 'standards'. I was going for something different that incorporated a lot of the details that inspire me most. I didn't want a carbon fucking copy, I wanted something one off that I could call my own. As you can read for yourself in my original post from November 14 07' about this build. In it I explain all my thoughts and ideas in rich detail:

"I started this project off with a set of NOS 1950's Hetchins Magnum Opus Lugs I bought off ebay. Then came up with the concept from my love of classic Hetchins frames and mixed in a little modern styling and technology."

Yep.. Nothing quite like quoting yourself ;)

..and way to be on top on the 'news' ye olden bastards!

What we're dealing with here is fetishism of a brand from which the original builders are long dead. I can understand wanting to defend or legitimize a legacy such as Hetchins but at the same time, not only do I think their aim is way off course as it concerns the Bilenky, but their focus is clouded as well. They have an opportunity to do something really grand with a name the entire cycling world knows and admires, yet they choose to retain their stale elitist views instead. Perish the thought that they make an attempt at changing things up a bit or coming up something new that pushes the boundaries. I mean, come on fellas, I fucking DARE you to make a concerted effort..

Now I can totally understand that the Bilenky isn't for everyone because I will admit it is kind of ridiculous (ly AWESOME!!!) in a lot of ways. Though at the same time no one who knows anything about bikes can completely disparage it with a simple one word "terse" comment. Doing so is much more telling as it pertains to that person's own disposition than the actual article in question. This is just a classic instance of complete pompous snobbery coming from a company that is KNOWN for having put out questionably built frames for DECADES. Nevermind countless stories from dissatisfied customers. Can you say brazing gaps and cloudy decals?

Then he talks about design justification as though it's something they're known for. Because you know, intricate lugs and curly stays can be justified. I mean are you really going to go there- fa realz?! Everyone knows that the only justification of super intricate lugs is to well.. show the fuck off! THEY SERVE NO OTHER JUSTIFIABLE PURPOSE OTHER THAN THAT. As far as their signature curly stays go, they only came about as a way to identify their bikes during races in which branding decals were not permitted. In other words- they bent the rules in order to be better well recognized. Smart, but a marketing ploy none the less. Don't talk to me or anybody else about design justification you fucking tools- you yourself have not shown us that you know or care a thing about it. Nor has it been shown that it was something Hetchins is really about. Just shut the fuck up and try to keep those vertical dropouts aligned properly wouldja plzkthx!

One of the main reasons why I didn't get a Hetchins in the first place is because I honestly just don't want one. I mean I do, but I don't. If I was to procure one, I would prefer one from like the 40's or 50's. Which you kinda can't guiltlessly beat on. I find comfort in the knowledge that all the bikes I own fit me and are super fun to ride as hard as I want. I don't know about you guys but I would never spend the money on a newly manufactured Hetchins. What makes a modern Hetchins a Hetchins anyways? Who even makes them anymore?? I know Jackson did for a while and apparently some dude does now but who can really tell seeing as how they update their site once like, every other year. The notion of ordering a wicked expensive custom frame from a tobacco and alcohol consuming retiree, who in no way shape or form is involved with any of the fine intricacies of the actual frame building, leaves much to be desired..

It's kind of like going to see a Metallica show now as opposed to that moment in time for which they're known for being great. When I say great I mean when Cliff Burton was still around to wail on his bass for like 10 minutes straight. (side note: Rob Trujillo was SO MUCH better in Infectious Grooves and Suicidal Tendencies, Jason's not worth mentioning outside of saying that he's not worth mentioning and this is the raddest video EVAR!!!) Then again I really can't get down with all the reunion band type gigs/albums. It's seems like they're only doing it because they've suddenly became aware that there's a market for their music now. Though in Metallica's case, they just lost their edge hardcore. In particularly during all that Napster suit bullshit. Totally killed their image as far as I'm concerned.. And with their image having gone down the drain, Hetchins gets to enjoy that same swirly abyss. Though not before I have a squat and add a painfully steaming hot shit squirt to the mix..

This is one of those classic situations such as a fan meeting their favorite movie star and having that person turn out to be a total asshole. Then all they're left with is an overwhelming feeling of stupidity and shame for having admired them in the first place..

It makes me think of this old school Candy shop out on Route 17 in Paramus next to the GSP mall that my parents would NEVER take me to when I was child. Then one day a good friend of mine and I decided to go check it out. As it happened he'd also never been in there for whatever reason. It seemed wondrous at first with that fresh blast of chocolaty air but that succulent smell wore off not long after we took our first few steps. Whenever you visit a place like that going into it with similar aspirations as you did when you were a kid, only now you're 10+ years older, the reality of it all inevitably sucks balls and lets you down. BUT.. The real clincher of this story is that behind the counter of said let down candy shop were two super cute chicks who were visibly bored and in dire need of entertainment. The second they feasted their eyes on a couple of strapping young lads (well, me anyways) their eyes immediately lit up as did ours. Until of course my friend and I made the horrible realization that we both had lady friends patiently waiting for us to return in the car parked out front. Making it that much more of a tragic bummer. Not long after that we said our thanks and goodbyes and sauntered back out into the rain and got in the car. Our lady friends eager to hear our reactions of boyish excitement were also let down when all we could come up with was kind of looking at each other and then saying: 'eh.. it sucked..' before quickly changing the subject..

What I'm trying to get at here is that not unlike the aroma of sweet chocolate and allure of fresh pussy, it's time to dump the old girls and move on to something new. Not in spite of the old but out of a necessity to keep things fresh and inspire new thoughts. Like Metallica, not only has the current incarnation of Hetchins long lost any value or edge- but they've lost what little respect and adoration they had left as well..

As cyclists we are privileged to bear witness to an ASTOUNDING renaissance currently taking place in bicycle manufacturing and artistry. This is just one sweeping change among many going on in the world right now. There's a time when you want to pay homage to the past and their achievements but it's not something you can let yourself get too caught up in or held back by. We are on the cusp of a ever hastening time with technology and advancement. Breakthroughs are being made every day and for those so caught up with the details and facts of yesterday are going to be left behind. It's sink or swim time- you either move on or you move the fuck out!

A great example of which I'd like to point out is that had I been held back by the same bullshit conservative thoughts to authenticity, this creation of Olli's inspired by my Bilenky might not exist either:

This is something that was a curiosity at first but once I READ MORE INTO THE PERSON AND THOUGHTS BEHIND THE BUILD I was super stoked on it! Fucking thing came out awesome!! There's a certain brilliance in the way he took something old, chopped, bent and welded it up into something completely different he could call his own. Like that single arm fork!

What I had originally considered to be the greatest achievement of the Bilenky, by winning at Le Cirque du Cyclisme 07' for best track bike, has now not only been toppled but blown away! Not just because it carries favor by a good portion of those most respected in the cycling community, but because it also inspires jealousy and contempt by the 'makers' it was originally inspired by and pays homage to. So much so that they felt the need to publicly denounce it. That right there carries more weight than all the compliments the bike has received combine! It's like an aging Lord so hell bent to hold on to land and title that he'd gladly sell out his own people to the enemy to retain his power and wealth. Maybe we can get Mel Gibson to don the blue face paint and kilt to slay treacherous mutha fukaz by wielding a flail or some other painfully blunt looking object..

So in closing, a big thanks to Hetchins for their grand unintentional compliment! I'd like to say that I'd have toast with you chaps and share in some of that fine unmixed wine of yours but you know what, you might as well just save that grape juice for yourselves because I don't drink. The next time someone offers you a tribute to a name brand that you just happen to loosely manage despite having no real ownership to the origins of it's former achievements, you should keep your dentures shut and graciously accept their favor. Though I'm glad that the poligrip didn't live up to it's name because nothing pleases me more than outing a phoney..

You can learn more about the history of Hetchins here, here and here..


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

U-lock INjustice..?

This is one of those things you might fantasize about inflicting on someone who pisses you off something awful but in light of better judgment, you somehow manage to restrain yourself:

Seen on the NYC fixed forum and Prolls of course..

Now.. I could totally see if that kid had a legitimately good reason to wail on that guy like that. Though it appears that he was merely having a wicked bad day on top of whatever initiated this scuffle and finally decided to take it out on someone. It also appears that he could have just hopped on his bike and rolled away at any time. Not the most satisfying decision but probably for the best..

Shit like this only fuels the fire for those out there who are not sympathetic towards cyclists. I have a hard enough time NOT DYING on the way to work as is thank you very much! Shit like this def won't help make things any easier. I'm sure in the days to come the amount of negativity that this video spawns will be an equivalent to that cop having never tackling that cyclist during critical mass. I can't wait to see what the snob has to say about this shit- man what a deusey!

In any case, this is going to sound like some lame ass PSA type shit but please bare in mind that when you're out there riding and something happens, you speak for all of us. So be sure you have just cause before you whip out a fucking u-lock and even threaten to use it (unless it's a cab). Otherwise it'll only make things worse for the rest of us..


Monday, July 20, 2009

Must. escape. NOW!!!

In making my preparations and accumulating the much 'needed' supplies for my month long trip beginning this Saturday, I've been finding myself in places I normally wouldn't be caught dead in.. The most frightening of which would HAVE be the Garden State Plaza Mall in Paramus NJ.. FUCKING. NIGHTMARE. This is the mall that I used to get dragged to by my parents as a little boy. Then found myself going to on the occasion out of utter boredom and or to skate the Vans store mini ramp years later, or like now, in search of something. That something is anything but socks and undies BTW. N-E-ways.. it's probably been about 3 years since the last time I'd set foot in that godforsaken place and boy oh boy have things changed! What you have to keep in mind is that the GSP is like the mall to end all malls in North Jersey. Not only is it fucking HUGE and always has all the 'best' stores, but it always seems to be expanding by like a wing everytime I go there. Walking through that mall is kind of like bearing witness to the decadence and deindividuation which comes as a precursor to the fall of humanity..

Despite only having been there for an hour or so I felt as though I could barely managed to navigate around the place through the cloudy haze that cast a glare over my eyes. It was kind of like what tripping on acid would be like sober while wearing super scratched up shop glasses. The experience left me feeling gypped. As if I'd lost an equivalent amount of brain cells as a night of heavy drinking minus all the slobbery good tongue twisting strange nipple tweaking good times..

At one point I wandered into a store called Zumiez. Which I'm pretty sure translates to nightmare come to fruition in Latin:

Zumiez is kind of like the boy version of super girly stores like Rave Girl and such.. So. god. awful!! This was only one out the 5 or so stores I walked into that had a full compliment of boards, trucks, wheels, etc.. There was even a CCS (California Cheap Skates) store! Which was slightly shocking to see in person having grown up obsessing over their little comic book style catalogs. That shit was like porn around xmas! I KNOW I'm not the only one out there who went to bed xmas night with their sweet new set-up at the foot of their bed. Along with their equally new sneaks on the board ready to go in like, kickflip position..

The worst part about walking into Zumiez was when one of the teenagers working there looked at my shirt and exclaimed in a pseudo SoCal surfer accent: "Oh that's cool brah, it's like a bike model set! Oh wait is that a fixed gear- awweessoommee!" All the while nodding his head with a big stupid grin on it. My natural reaction was to say nothing, turn around and make a break whence I came. Once I knew my safety was assured, I stopped to catch my breath from my hasty exit and decide on whether or not to ditch the shirt. Which was when I noticed that there was a huge ad for American Eagle Outfitters staring down at me:


There's so much nonsense going on in that photo that I don't even get into it..

Closer inspection revealed a vintage San Marco Gold Saddle:

Along with what appears to be Deep V's laced to painted spokes and hubs with Fyxation tires or something..

The best part is that there was another AEO mens ad next to it with a photo of a kid on a boat wearing loafers. yeeeaaahhh, boating and fixed gear- They were SO meant for each other!!


It was at that point that I decided I needed to leave that place ASAP and never go back..

My only salvation for the time spent there is a semi completed mission and the sight of pretty clouds on the horizon:

Saturday can't come sooooon enough!


Friday, July 17, 2009

Groundhogs day- in Jersey?!

So until this morning I'd totally forgotten about something weird that occurred a few weeks ago. I was riding to work along River Road (Now unfortunately renamed Port Imperial BLVD) towards Hoboken one morning when I spotted a Groundhog doing it's thing in the small stretch of grass along the side of the road. Nothing Special. Then I saw another one not 15 seconds later. I thought to myself, wouldn't it be funny if I saw another one? It would almost be worth blogging, or at least a tweet. Before I had a chance to give myself a mental bitch slap for thinking in such rediculous terms, there before me was yet another Groundhog hanging out on the side of the road- what are the chances?! That retarded internerd part of me thought, wow, not only did I see two GH's on the way to work but I actually saw three- so worth an internet mention! Right when that part of me that missed it's chance to administer a bitch slap to myself thought: alright this is it! There once again was ANOTHER Groundhog standing and staring at me by the side of the road! At that point I was fully weirded out by this peculiar predictive conversation going on in my head over having seen four ground hogs in a row. Which is probably why after seeing the FIFTH one in about a 2 mile stretch, I thought: okay, this is about as close to seeing a pink elephant as I'm going to get today so let me just file this memory to the back. Though I did feel the need to satisfy the overwheelming urge to watch Groundhog's Day when I got home later on that night..

Why am I going on about this you ask? Because today I confirmed that I wasn't totally crazy by seeing presumably the same 5 GH's this morning along the same route. Which is obviously why the memory came back to me. Only difference is that the first three had made the mistake of venturing into the road and getting themselves squished. Poor bastards.. THANK GOD FOR FENDERS THO!! The fourth was standing there looking lonely and the 5th just ran and hid in the brush as I rolled by :(

What a bizarre and tragic tale huh?

...fucking tard

Anyways, since this post totally sucks a hairy sack be sure to check out this tumbler blog I just found and laughed my ass off to:

It's no Blue States Lose but it's pretty entertaining none the less.. Kind of like Hot Chicks With


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Few things for sale: First come, first serve!

Okay, got a few nicer things for sale here. As the title states, first come first serve. If you're interested, send me an email along with your paypal email address and I'll send you an invoice. Local cats can pick up in person at my office..

Campagnolo 170mm Vintage Record Pista Cranks, 48T ring and chainring bolts. Pantograph has orange paint in it- not my doing:


I bought these locally but then won an auction for a similar set with an ALAN ring. Don't need these anymore. Never used or mounted since I bought them from the previous seller. Polished up a bit with some handy dandy Simichrome and now they look lovely! Def has wear from use but not abused..


That INCLUDES 2 day Priority USPS shipping with tracking and insurance WITHIN the US!

Vintage Shimano Dura Ace DX 27.2 Road post:


$45 shipped via 2 day Priority USPS shipping with tracking..

NOS Vintage 55T Campagnolo road chainring 144BCD:

$30 shipped via 2 day Priority USPS shipping with tracking..


More snaps via my flickr page..


Bizarrely sized but beautiful none the less!

59cm TT with a 55cm ST def is pretty weird though..


Not sure why this came to mind but..

..I suddenly remembered how stoked I was when I got home from vacation during the summer of 92' and found this video waiting for me:

Birdhouse Projects First video called Feasters

Watch Birdhouse - Feasters in Sports Online | View More Free Videos Online at

SO rad, even until this day. Except for Tony's street skating of course..

Not long after receiving Feasters, 101's first promo video showed up:

So super classic!

I still have those tapes and a bunch of other classics lying around somewhere. Oh and who else remembers how inspiring Rosa was from all those Big Brother Magazine Shorty's ads??

Yep, last time I checked most of those fold out posters were still hanging up amongst the remnants of my old darkroom in my parents basement..

Extra bonus points for those of you who can tell me who 'CSG' is..


Monday, July 13, 2009

Way OT Stoned movie review # 2: Transformer? I barely knew her!!

Last night I made the mistake of watching the new Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen movie complllleeeeetelllyyyy stoned. Talk about your eyes glazing over! I don't think I've ever sat around for close to two hours in a near catatonic state like that before.. No wait, I actually did the week before last when I had to wait three HOURS in my town court. I was given a $140 ticket because I was MISSING A SLIP OF PAPER. Funnily enough it was given to me during one of those DWI awareness stops. The cop all leans into my car trying to smell alcohol on my breath or something and asks if I'd been drinking. To which I replied "Nope, I don't drink" before he passed me on down the line. THANK GOD he didn't ask me if I'd been a tokin' earlier that night because that surely would've made for an awkward moment. Wow that would've SUCKED! I'd spent the previous 10 minutes in line performing all but the freaking Lamaze technique to prevent inducing a paranoid fit. Though I have to say, while nothing is as terrifying as looking a cop in the eye from all of twelve inches away knowing you're about to tell a lie, stoned, there really is nothing quite like the elation that washes over you once you realized you've gotten away with it..

Speaking of terrifyingly sucky things- Micheal Bay has been really successful at totally ruining movies that just about anyone with even the slightest inkling of class and taste could do better. I think with this movie he went with the 'I know, I'll make a parody of myself, making a parody of myself! Brilliant!!' approach.. Which to be perfectly honest- kinda worked! Charlie Anders wasn't fucking around when he said MB finally made an art film.

Although right when I feared I'd might have to take back all the rude things I'd said about MB for being a fucking tool, the fucking tool in him didn't let me down! Why? because of the whole masturbatory military industrial complex montage BS mixed in there that he TOTALLY RIPPED OFF from Black Hawk Down! He's even got one of the same actors in there acting the EXACT same way! That's what we really need to see more of in mainstream Hollywood summer block buster movies. Let's just go ahead and glorify the military's doing what it does best. Meanwhile you've got those poor bastards out there getting needlessly maimed and losing their lives in that godforsaken abortion happening in the middle east. Yeah.. Military. That's really what we need to encourage more of..

Granted if everyone was required to complete a year or so of military training after high school, you know, like most every other country.. I'm sure things like gun violence and the value of human life would be better respected. Instead of glorified as a means to single minded end. Not to mention that stupid ass turn it to the side gangsta shit. Oh yeah, let me just flip this firearm 90 degrees so it looks cool despite the fact that it wasn't intended to be operated in said manner. Unless of course you're TRYING to hit that toddler in the chest while they're playing in a kiddie pool across the street..

As for the stars, the Transformers are still WAY too complicated/confusing to look at most of the time and what was up with Devastator being a freaking snake like vacuum cleaner?! MEGA LAME! It wasn't even that hollow neon green color. Megan Fox was so done up like a thanksgiving turkey she looked like a fucking Tranny! Can we please cut it out with the whole tanned 5 lbs of make up fake look like STAT! SO fucking unattractive it's not even funny.. Shia LaBoeuf or rather LaDouche as I prefer to refer to him as, somehow manages to pull off and even doucheier role than the previous film in the franchise. God.. Who the fuck wants to be known as the dude who plays a total douche in the movies. Talk about unfortunate type casting! Well then again, seeing as how I play one full time in real life I suppose it wouldn't be too bad. At least I'd be getting paid for it.. Besides, we all know how much pussy Wilmer Valderrama from that 70's show gets. Lucky fuck..

Ug and more UG!

Anyways, I think that's about all I can muster about the film other than it's complete and utter lack of cohesive balance. Not to mention the grevious product placement in nearly every seen. Otherwise I'll never finish this fraking rant/review..

Yes, it's wicked entertaining. Yes, you will see Megan Fox's titties jostling around in slow motion. Yes, you will have at least 2.3 epileptic fits per 10 minute interval. Yes, the glaze over your eyes will appear to be sweeter and thicker than a Chick-O-Stick, aaaand yes.. you will be shocked and amazed at the lengths in which Hollywood will go to entertain and assist in our ever dumbening down culture..

Now.. If you want to watch some truly awesome flicks. Check these out:

The Thin Red Line

Sexy Beast


Ground Hogs Day

Mississippi Burning

War Photographer

Princess Mononoke


How to get ahead in advertising

Glengarry Glen Ross

LA Confidential

The Way Things Go

12 Angry Men

A Very Long Engagement

Killing Zoe

Falling Down

American Psycho

Withnail & I

Le Femme Nikita (1990)

..and anything with Daniel Day Lewis in it (Except for Gangs- He's great, but the film blows)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know there's like a million more but those are just some off the top of my head that aren't too super obvious. Like Taxi Driver. Which is super awesome of course and everyone loves yadda, yadda, yadda. Regardless they all beat the living shit out of Transformers 2 and any other lack luster job MB could ever possibly hope to achieve..

For those of you who made it this far, here's your reward- enjoy!

For further 'reading' you can catch my previous review of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift here..


Saturday, July 11, 2009

Monster and a Monstrosity!


Friday, July 10, 2009

BFF Break Up Race tonight!!!

I helped Dylan and Heather out with the Flyers for this last night. Sounds like a super fun format:

Heather and I decided to do this chris kim/victor style so of course, here is the flyer one day before the race. That's how we do!!!!!!!!!

Heather is moving to a place where u can get beer at mcdonalds so come say goodbye to this lady afterward


you have to race along with ur bff. I don't care if it is ur real bff or u found this person dumpster diving.Clearly, one of u is better than the other and we will find out who. Race against ur bff and destroy them as payment for that time he/she stole ur girl/boy while u weren't looking
You can also race in the single race, which heather and i call the TV dinner race, which yatica already told me to tell u guys he was going to win this.
We have some dope prizes from my boy kyle at DQM and John at MISHKA
We also have some prizes that were donated by ur local brooklyn artists. You may know some of them, u may not.
You already know how i get down so u know this race is going to be AMAZING or TERRIBLE. It could go either way but i'm shooting for AMAZING


I've said it before and I'll say it again..


Just got this flyer Jun about his bike so for those of you in NYC keep a look out!

I just got my bike stolen. Some fucker cut off Pad Lock arm and took
It'd be great if you can post up the attached flyer on your blog. I'm
desperate to find this bike.
You can also contact me at


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Croatia Trip 09': ONE MONTH away from this godforsaken city!

Yes indeed! Got my tickets and dates all set and ready to gizzo!! From the end of July to the end of August. I cannot even describe in words how much I'm anticipating this trip! Not to mention getting away from everyone and everything in this fucking city..

Most of you know of Croatia as being one of the hottest European tourist destination right now. Which is still kinda weird for me to hear having visited there during the summers since I was a child. EXCEPT.. for the fact that I haven't been back in 10 years now. WAY too long! Last time I went was with my buddy Tom in 99' and it was a super fun! Having a good friend along made the trip that much better. The local kids are cool but if I seem a little out there to people here just imagine what kids from some random island would think. Granted my previous visits were all pre internet explosion days but still. It takes very little effort to stick out like a sore thumb there. I have a feeling things will be wicked different though this time after not having been there in so long..

In any case, I'm hoping things will be nice and relaxed. We have a lot of farm land so I'm sure a good portion of my days will be filled with the tending of fig, olive and almond trees. Which may not sound like a whole lot of fun but for those of you who work in offices know what a treat it can be to engage in physical labor..

As with the 99' trip, I'm going to be making a similar excursion to the former war torn city of Sarajevo. I plan on revisiting this year to re-document the city and put together a sort of before and after project when I get back. 10 years is a long time and from what I hear, Sarajevo is not only known for enduring the longest siege in modern warefare, but has become a beautiful thriving city once again..

There's a really great movie which may not be so easy to find but really is TOTALLY worth watching called Welcome to Sarajevo. Toss it on your netflix list (if you have it) when you get a chance- it's gnarly! and not just because Woody Harrelson somehow plays and kinda pulls off a dramatic role..

Also, for those of you who will go unamed, don't give me any of that Ustaše blood feud bullshit attitude. I'm kind of sick of that shit already. Esp since I don't share similar feelings towards others who are now essentially guilty of the same thing. My family comes from a long line of island farmers who had nothing to do with any of that nastiness aside from having to run from or fight the Nazis themselves. I'm sure a good portion of you have no idea of what I'm talking about but let's just say I've had really stupid shit like bartenders dis me on service simply because they found out where I was from. It's like, ORLY? Keep up the good fight by dening me a freaking whisky you biased jagoff! We're all guilty of generalizing now and then but it's really frustrating when you experience it first hand despite having absolutely nothing to do with it and being nothing but super nice to them. I could toss out a few other examples but I won't go there..

..Actually, yes I will. It's kind of like saying all Americans are essentially Nazis when it comes to foreign policy. When in fact most of them are just too fat, ignorant and preoccupied with reality TV and FOX news to come up with an opinion based on anything other than what their idiot box tells them.. Oh, oh wait.. am I generalizing now? Awww, poo-poo, pee-pee! We're all stuck in the same shithole either way and no amount of bitching will flush us out at this point..

ANYways.. I'm sure there's at least a few kids out there that live in or around my area who either ride or skate. If those mofos could drop me an email ( to give me an idea as to what's up it would be much appreciated! I'm actually going to make up a temporary sidebar header for people to easily notice and reference this post..

Also, for any of you who happen to be traveling in or around the area let me know if you'd like to stop by for a day or two.. Granted you'll have to deal with my crazy family and the kids. Though the island really is super nice and we have our own house(s)/car/boat..

As for keeping the blog updated during that month, I'm not really sure. I'm assuming there will be internet access but I'm not sure how good/bad it'll be. I'll probably either be dumping the occasional massive posting or quick little twitter type jams with like a tantilizing photo of me sunning myself on a beach, hehe..

More to come about this as the days between now and the trip roll on. Just trying to gather up everything I know I'll need. Oh and yes, I am taking the Jackson and YES, I am getting a new toned down set of wheels built for it right now..

Here's a travel show spotlight on Croatia if you're interested and or bored. Keep in mind that the Kornati are all of 20 miles from my hometown and chicks like Sandra remind me of why I have a thing for women with deep voices..


Thursday, July 2, 2009

Vintage Dura Ace 10 MILLIMETER Pitch Track Group!

YYYESSSS!! I finally got the Dura Ace 10 group I mentioned winning on ebay recently! As you can see, I also received a suuuuper nice set of vintage Campy cranks with a minty fresh ALAN pantographed chainring. Both chainrings are 48T so I figured it would make for a really nice comparison shot to show the difference and supposed weight advantage that the DA10 group had over all the other standard weight/sized groups out there..

Daamn that chainring is insanely HOTT! It's got my name (literally) written all over it!!

This one actually makes for a great screen saver if you're that gay..

SO stoked! and soooo looking forward to mouting it on my new ______ frame and giving it a go. One of the great things about getting rare stuff like this that you've never actually seen in person, is actually handling it for the first time. It's almost odd to a certain degree. It's one thing to see photos of something over the years that you know to exists, it's another thing when it's in your possesion and you can take the time to appreciate all the details..

Wow there's something pathetically disturbing about that last sentence. Time to exit- stage left!

UPDATE: WHY the fuck didn't SOMEONE correct me on this?:

"It's 10mm pitch, not inches. the normal 1/2" pitch is 12.7mm"

It's kinda funny cause I was wondering about that info but was unable to locate it anywhere. Live and learn I guess.. Oh wait, I just had another look at the catalog photo I posted a while back and it says it right under the headline. Fucking retard..

Thanks iamameatpopsicle!


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Because I can't go ANYwhere lately without..

..hearing the melody of a classic Michael Jackson song coming out of a car window or office I'm passing by, seeing specials about him on every fucking channel, on the internet, his name being mentioned in passing or some other sort of visual stimulation, I've officially been broken.. I know, I've been trying to avoid mentioning anything else but I can't take it anymore! Here's a few of my personal favs from way back when MTV only played music videos:

I'm sorry but despite the appeal of metal, smoke, and ash I still love me some good disco..

BTW who else used to CHERISH Gawker's Blue States Lose?? I loved it so much I almost wanted to be rediculed on there ( yes I used to go to misshapes ((when it was good mind you)) ). I would compare it getting snobbed in the cycling world..

You really gotta thank the director for that video turning out as raw and rad as it did. Fuck I probably haven't seen that shit in over 10+ years and it totally just blew me away!

Growing up in the 80's meant everyone you knew thought the 'moon walk' and parachute pants were the shit even if they didn't really know what the fuck the deal was with either..

I couldn't find any full length Thriller videos to embed here so here's the direct link BUT.. be sure to make it a point to watch all of these behind the scenes clips when you have a moment:

God I miss Vincent Price!

So I'm sure a lot of you are sounding the he was a fucking wack job! alarm. Thought you gotta give the guy some credit for toting around his madness openly IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD and still doing his best to give back despite being wicked crazy towards the end. I don't even want to think about what would become of me if I had even a glimpse of talent people were interested in paying large sums of money for. I mean, who doesn't want to wear super sparkly head to toe outfits in public and get away with it?!


If you're going to sell something with a SUPER lame slogan on it.. sure to offer it in more than one language so everyone can appreciate your lametasticness:


Oh and if you're good with the top cap you already own there's always stickers too:

Something tells me that when Monsieur Henri Desgrange said: '...better to triumph by the strength of your muscles than by the artifice of a derailleur...' He wasn't talking about being a total douche by buying a douchey new top cap and throwing a douchey sticker on your bike..