Sunday, December 19, 2010

Now had I thought of..



..it would've read something along the lines of:

FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID DOG SHIT EATING FAT MOTHER FUCKING FUCKTARD ASS LICKING SCUMBAG SUCKING FUCKER FUCK YOU!!!!!

You've just been severely cursed out cause your fat fucking ignorant ass was too fucking oblivious to conceive the notion of any other mode of transportation OR THE SAFETY OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING because your dick is too small or you have to cover the bags under your eyes with enough concealer to plug a storm drain and have to compensate by driving some big shitty car. I understand you can't think of anything but yourself but could you please watch the fuck out next time? You almost fucking killed me asshole!

Granted I'm being somewhat facetious with my version but it def doesn't scream I'm a liberal PC twat and you could roll over me with a No. 2 Pencil as much as mine would. Not to mention the fact that if I was to actually prepare myself for near misses with cars, I think I'd rather hold down some ninja throwing stars if anything. I mean, come on- a magnet?! As tho the driver would find it, peel it off and sit there contemplating the full meaning of what their actions or rather in-actions could've caused... Please!

For instance: This one day a while back I was running some errands etc in town with my car. I know, shame on me for owning one right? Cunts. Anyways, I had my bike in back as I usually do so after I was done I decided to go for a ride. I'm sitting there on the side walk putting my bag and helmet on when this unconscionably fat guy slowly waddles by. I mean this guy was so fat he was wearing enough material you could stich yourself an etire bed set- for reals! I noticed him looking at me as he slowly waddled by with some woman (he's undoubtedly related to). After he passes I hear him say to her under his breath: 'If someone was leaning their bike against my car I'd kick his fucking ass' Now, if you can imagine a pressure gauge for a steam pipe going from zero to steam gushing red and bursting, then you have an idea of how fucking angry I got when I heard that. The worst part is that I couldn't really say anything back since A) I barely heard him and he didn't say it directly to me and B) I didn't want to waste time searching for another spot. Cause wow, I would've LOVED to have given that fat ignorant fuck face a what for. Nothing pleases me more than saying super offensive shit to people like that cause I know they don't have the brain power to come back with anything smart..

In any case, my point is that the fucking guy had the nerve to make a comment about me LEANING my bike against SOMEONE ELSE'S car. I don't even want to know what he'd say if he cut right in front of me at an intersection causing me to run into him. Suffice it to say, it certainly wouldn't be anything smart..

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that while taking the high road and diplomacy is super great and I'm all for it, high minded efforts are unfortunately wasted on the average dumb fuck out there. It really sucks, you may not want to believe it, but it's a fact of life so get over it. Most of the time you can avoid confrontation but there's going to be that one time when you just can't and taking the high road or walking away isn't an option (like when your wheel is taco'ed). So be ready, be smart and say something offensive cause honestly, disrespectful people like that don't know how to respond to anything else nor do they deserve your reverence..


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