Low and behold I arrive at home tonight after a long hard day at work only to find that I have once again been mention on the ever popular
Bike Snob NYC blog. At first I was filled with dread recalling
my first apperance on his site. Low and behold, he actually said I was one of his favorite blogs and tagged me! I suddenly found myself flushed with glee like when a school girl gets asked out to the homecoming dance by the team quarterback...
After the initial shock and gaiety subsided, it occurred to me this could just be some sneaky ploy of the snob to get me to do/say/write something ridiculous that he could then use to his advantage when next he felt the desire to mock me. Realizing how unbelievably paranoid and ludicrous the dialog was going through my head, I decided to go back to my original plan for the evening: Watching adult swim and rubbing one out to one of the XXX torrent files I'd downloaded the previous night in
anticipation desperation for this evening...
A few hours later with the sweat wiped from my brow and yet another generation amongst the many untold civilizations lost to the ages, I got back to completing this stupid questionnaire...
So here we go:
If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?I'll have to agree with the snob on this one and go with something more suited towards both off road riding and on. Most likely something in a
cross style(ish) bike since I'm just not a fan of Mountain Bikes...
Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?
Fortunately I've been BEYOND
lucky enough to have not one, not two, but a whole stable of dream bikes. However, to be fair to the question I would have to say my
Bilenky is my dream-dream bike. Out of all of them it's the one I spent the most time conjuring it's design and overall aesthetic. Where as the rest were just solid gold finds...
If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?
I would have to say that one of my favorite rides is from the Manhattan side GW bridge down to 57th street. It's just a nice stretch of green way that isn't too crowded and offers some pretty great scenery. One of my favorite things about the ride would have to be the area where that dude builds those awesome drift wood sculptures along the banks of the Hudson. They're fucking awesome and keep getting better!
What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to to do for the rest of her / his life?
Prob the same type of person that would drive a massive SUV with a yellow ribbon magnet on the bumper and honk at me for
being in the way... I would've said my mother but she actually doesn't want me to ride any bikes at all...
Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrow minded?
Just roadies for me thanks. Besides, my cycling tunnel vision only allows me to focus in on the intricate details of one facet of cycling at a time...
Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent.
I've never ridden one and most likely never will. The only circumstance I could imagine that would actually get me to ride one is by gunpoint...
Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?
Hells fucking no and fuck fucking no...
Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why?
This is a really difficult one for me seeing as how I love both ice cream AND bicycles almost equally, hehe.. ug.. God I'm fat.. Okay, I'll stick with bicycles since I haven't really engaged in many other extracurricular activities lately outside of slap boxing the one eyed champ now and again...
What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it.
Okay, I thought of a few for this one:
Q) How many ridable bikes do you currently own?
A) 9
Q) We all love riding, but what are some of the things you hate or bother you about it?
A) Shifting my bits around in the saddle and/or having to let a long fart go while riding a fixie
Q) How many times have you been hit by a car? any injuries?
A) 6 - 0
You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?
Whenever I think of bears I'm reminded of that scene in Borat where the kids get chased off by the one in the ice cream truck. I would undoubtingly act in a similar manner unless of course I had a wasp knife on me. In which case I would stab that bitch in the heart and freeze that shit!
Now, tag three biking bloggers. List them below.
Prolly is not ProbablyHipster NascarThe Rotten ClubBy the way snobby, I hope you have some extra steel wool leftover to help wash the teeny girl feeling that's crawling all over me after writing this fucking post...
Let the blog tagging begin!
56cm Boxed Green with Cream White panels and Blue lining!
Now I know none of my suggestions can ever appease the savy Concept chaser but still, maybe they'll get a fuckin' clue one of these days...
