Heeeyyyyy so how's everyone doin..?
HHHHOOOWWWEEEEDDOOOIINNNN??
Did everyone enjoy their turkey day farts as much as I did..?
I hope so!!
Recently I was minding my own business in faithful pursuit of fulfilling the cycling gods every desire to their fullest extent when suddenly, the heavens split wide and as the sun broke through, awash in its glow, I heard a faint whisper..
"We're sending you on a mission to dissuade all suspicion of the custom cycling industry's moronic decisions and as our instrument, you'll aid in restoring the old traditions.."
I was given a mission..
This mission...was to take place in LA..
If you're wondering wtf I'm talking about and require further clarification, I'm talking about a bunch of FUCKING COWARDS that pose as health and environmentally 'conscious' MORONS gleefully succumbing to useful idiot status by literally PUSHING DEATH at the behest of their big pharma sponsored media daddies all so they could continue to drape themselves in a veil of good-person-hood instead of actually being a good person. You know, like the type of person that was willing to speak out against the narrative despite knowing all too well how much hate he would receive LIKE BEING CALLED A CRAZY CONSPIRACY THEORIST FOR POINTING OUT THE MEDIAS LIES DESPITE HAVING SPENT 30 YEARS WORKING INSIDE OVER A DOZEN DIFFERENT NYC MEDIA OFFICES AND BEING CONSTANTLY LIED TO BY PEOPLE THAT PAY ME TO BE HONEST but hey its def me who's the bad guy duuuuuhhhhh. Which should be obvious to anyone with half a brain at this point but as we all got to see for ourselves, more than half the people out there are running around with less than a quarter. Granted I'm right by NYC which is chock full of retards ASK ME HOW I KNOW. I look at one every morning, lol, not because I am but because I'm not, yet put up with so much insane bullshit I must be, lol- good times! I go more in depth on this subject in Chapter 1 of the grail series but I'm essentially alluding to all the no talent narcissists taking selfies wearing face diapers and posting black square propaganda that somehow turned into an even DUMBER version of the politically correct cultists from the film PCU:
Keep in mind that flick came out the year I graduated High School in 1994. I've had to put with god knows how much unconscionably blatantly obvious excremental gobbly goop propagandist NONSENSE for DECADES. But you know what they say- the more things change the more they stay the same. Well that's because the devil can't create which is why he only mocks what he can't defeat and where the useful idiots come in handy. But nevermind all that because at no point in history has anyone ever wrapped a nefarious plot inside a 'virtuous' cause..
In any case, to aid in the forging of a new empire, the cycling gods in their infinite wisdom, sent me an anvil..
A Type 3.1 Journeyman Frame jig from Anvil to be exact!
MISSION AXZEPTED!!!
The big thing with buying these rare gems used is you want to find a hobbyist 'used' one and not one with like a thousand frames on it. If you're just fucking around like I do on occasion you're going to have a easier time getting what you paid out of a clean one when the day comes to pass it along..
I flew over this shit:
I witnessed a coyote out for a casual stroll:
I went to Hollywood!
I saw a USELESS BUNDLE OF STICKS:
I stayed at this cool old school vintage hunting lodge with a view:
Which turned out to be so ramshackle and in DIRE need of a mans touch I dubbed it the 'Lesbian Palace' because WAY more attention was put into the placement of the dozen sowing machines and fake vines all over the goddamn place than the crumbling walkways, half screwed on handles and not to mention the fucking ants crawling all over the place:
Fucking gross. Can't tell you how difficult it was for me to not add shit to my home depot list. Like I was borderline offended that I had to ENDURE just leaving everything broken..
Here's the main issue with the lesbian palace- the entranceway to the house is situated on one of LA's hilly neighborhood's massive staircases between upper and lower blocks. I was under the impression that there was private parking or at least street level parking up top but not only was that not the case, the upper street closest to the house was narrow af and crazy loaded down with no parking signs for driveways etc everywhere so instead of walking up and down like two flights of stairs, I was stuck parking on the lower staircase street and my fat ass was forced to hoof ALL OF MY SHIT up and down SEVEN massive flights over and over and over again every day in the oppressing heatwave they just happen to be having that week with the usually cloudless bland blue sky and sun beating down on me for every step..
It was one of those places that has this whole kick ass vintage vibe and naturally, you want to save and preserve it. Problem is that it wasn't actually that special to begin with and is so janky and awkwardly built, at this point its basically a tear down and or in dire need of a full renovation..
Then I made a big wooden box- TWICE
Let's back up to before the trip while I was getting ready. I couldn't help but think, you know, if only I had the dimensions of the jig it would make things a bit easier. Then realized- wait, I still have the side panels to the box my first Anvil jig came in! They were perfect for cars to roll up onto during maintenance. My cars are so low it requires at least a two inch lift for a low profile jack to even fit under them, lol. The point being- I had my measurements! ..or so I thought. I had some scrap lying around and since I wasn't going to be there long, I figured why not pack my suitcase with as many pre cut pieces I could fit to get a head start. I was leaving Wednesday and returning Saturday so I didn't have to miss any family Sunday meals..
I had the whole trip schedule long written in my mind before even stepping on the flight. Which essentially all went out the fucking door thanks to a flight delay heading out to start with, which initiated a cascade effect that bled into every other fucking thing of course, lol it was def a one annoying thing after another kind of trip but in a good problem to have kinda way..
The next day I went to home depot with my handy pre-measured map of all the cuts I needed made with the least amount of cuts required:
Then, later on that night I made the run out to pick up the jig. The previous owner was cool and had just used it to make a few frames for himself. He's got something else I'd like to get my filthy mitts on so we'll see how things shape up in the new year..
So here's where things get fun. As I'm getting the box ready to assemble, I take some measurements on the jig just in case and hey guess what it's like HALF AN INCH longer than my original box measurements which then required me to go BACK to fucking home depot and have a whole bunch of new pieces cut to spec and LUG UP THOSE FUCKING STAIRS AGAIN. My assumption is that somewhere in the 5 years after I got my jig, Don might have widened part of the main body of it slightly..? No clue other than I know Don retired a few years later..
I know it sounds like I'm whinging but let me tell you fucking pussies I RELISHED THE SUFFERING as it was decried to me that I was to receive all I need to bring ruin to those who deceive and thrive on greed. I was on mission for the cycling gods and no trial or tribulation, including my own or others folly, could ever stand in the way of whats sure to be my greatest creations. My legs may have been burning every day but failure wasn't a thought, only forward momentum..
Box version 2.0 completed:
Now came zero hour when I had to haul all that shit to the UPS. I would've LOVED to have been able to take my time, pack everything really well and toss it in the whip. The only problem was there would've been no way for me to lift the box with the jig in it, at least not safely, which led to quite possibly the gnarliest thrash boxing session ever in the UPS parking lot. Believe me, I would've preferred to deal with all this shit more appropriately but time wasn't on my side and I had to split the next day..
I was PRAYING there'd be a shaded area for me to work there but nope. I did have a nice space to work but with no shade in sight. It was brutal. I was out there for like 2 hours slogging away cutting and screwing pieces everywhere like a goddamn cartoon fight sweating my balls off. Dudes from the offices/businesses would walk by me on their lunch break and be like- Dude what are you getting down to out here, do you need some water?! I must have looked insane drenched with sweat and covered in sawdust with a handsaw ready to faint which is why I have ZERO photos from the whole escapade..
Although.. I did see a sign..
I was probably about 3/4's of the way through of assembly and hurting. I still had a little water left and what I could tell would be just enough wood, screws and battery life to complete the task. There was a bit of shade from the rental car (A late model Nissan Altima, nice but nothing special aside from being just a fine all around kinda whip, better than a tiny eco box) so I could at least take little breaks. You have to understand I'm sitting in a parking lot out in the open with this big open box and the jig inside. I was stuck there til I was done and the UPS was closing soon..
In the middle of all this, as I was leaning over the box making adjustments with the handsaw in my other hand holding my weight on the box when out of nowhere, a Monarch butterfly landed on the saw blade handle right by my hand. I noticed it out of the corner of my eye, it sat there for a second and then flew away. Not thinking much of it, I turned back to my work. Then, like 30 seconds later while I was in a similar position, another Monarch butterfly flew over and landed on the saw blade handle by my hand again. Which naturally caught my attention more this time so I paused for a moment and starred at it through my sweaty glasses. This time it did that thing where they're just perched on something and slowly flapping its wings up and down.. and up and down.. repeatedly, like it was yawning. The craziest thing happened next when suddenly that frantic feeling of anxiety, sweat and pain completely drained from my thoughts, burning muscles and sun scorched skin like water flowing down a drain. Slightly confused, but elated and with a sense of appreciation for the fleeting moment of relief, I uttered with a smile- "Thanks buddy" and then it flew away. I watched it saunter off into the sky for a moment before getting back to work calmly and effectively. The dude at the UPS was super Cali cool and was a big help with getting that monstrosity shipped out. It's not everyday you find yourself shipping something super heavy and expensive that's easily over 200lbs from somewhere unfamiliar. I'd been to LA a few times in the past so I get it but still..
There was a mini mart across the blvd from the UPS so I rewarded myself with a gatorade and granola bar to chew on, went back to the lesbo palace, took a shower, took a nap, THEN TOOK MYSELF OUT ON DA TOWN!! Just kidding of course as I was destroyed so instead I FEASTED like a fucking KING at Guisado's:
I realize it looks like I'm eating dog shit tacos in that lighting as the photo does it no justice but let me tell you something SO FUCKING GOOD that by the fourth day of me showing up in a row like the familiar breeze of a hungry specter the workers were like- yo whats your deal gringo? and I was like- Ha!, I'm from Jersey, we don't have it like this out there and they were all low key like aww yeaaah das right puto! They even pulled up their socks to reveal their cons and starting doing that cholo hoodrat dance! Well, they were in my head anyways and if you think thats rrracist then there's a pretty good chance you're just another run of the mill no talent ghey loser, lol just stop there's nothing wrong with someone appreciating imaginary cholo shit INSIDE THEIR HEAD wtf calm down shit was tight af in tha 90's holmes just go get another booster whydontcha duuuuuuhhhhhh besides they love that shit too stop playin'..
Next up are LA food scenester twats that likely want to drag me for such an obvious choice but whatever man I had a great fucking time every time. I'm legit ready to fly back just for the tacos, lol let me know what I'm missing out on if its so special! I don't have the patience to weed through the gay old lib review sites I used to like until I really didn't, lol wtf its def not me who's the vile degenerate plotting scoundrel, just the stubborn one that could see the line in the sand and wasn't fool hearty enough step over it..
Normally after a hard days work I'll just SLAY a dozen or so egg whites, pan fried in the pure olive oil I make myself from my ancestors land along with a little Croatian sea salt and it b amazin'..
I like to sizzle it til it stars to get a nice bit of crispiness going but sadly that couldn't happen because the bad ass old school vintage stove with all this sick ass pipes and knobs everywhere that I was reeeeeaaaally looking forward to using was covered up by this douchey little piece of marble etc with a hot plate on top so between that and the ants it would've been a bit of an embarrassment for me to even consider cooking in that POS kitchen set up..
After I stuffed my gullet with Guisados, I attempted to walk it off with a little tour around the various 'galleries' and 'book stores' in Echo Park where aside from quite possibly THE WORST MOST INFANTILE AND GROTESQUE 'art' ever I noticed way more broads looking at me than I'm used to, which likely had less to do with my admittedly stunning goods looks than the fact the 'dudes' in that 'hood' RADIATED beta like you wouldn't believe. Not one dude had any meaningful facial hair and they all looked like a toothpicks a light fart could knock over..
I know what you're thinking- Beta?! Weren't you just talking about butterflies?
Yes. Just like I talked about these Monarchs in 2017 WITH VIDEO EVIDENCE:
I'm allowed to trip out on butterflies forming Orions belt and a Pyramid after getting stoned and watching Ancient Aliens for HOLY CRAP they're on season 21 now?!! Hilarious! Again, for the millionth time, forget about the alien etc shit and just watch it for the archeology and various sites they go to- ULTRA FASCINATING and you seldom learn about any of that kinda shit anywhere else so it's fun :-)
Thankfully despite all the running around I did get to do the ONE touristy thing I wanted to do- go visit 'The Crucifixion' and let me tell you it did NOT disappoint!:
What a sight to behold!
I took a snap for perspective only- our boy in the middle is roughly 1:1 in size so that should give you an idea of its enormity. The story behind it is amazing too. First popularized in the mid/late 1800's, it was a MARVELOUS way to immerse yourself in various, usually historic scenes, by viewing massive panoramic paintings shown in the round called a Cyclorama, kind of like this:
The entire grandiose presentation was the greatest fucking thing ever from a purely technical perspective, esp when they bring out the companion painting- 'The Resurrection' I would LOVE to get a closer look at that whole mechanism's inner workings..
An overall 10 out of 10, would def recommend viewing it during a guided tour presentation ππ
It's funny cause I only vaguely recall seeing something about the painting years ago but all I retained was that it was massive and in LA. When my friend was asking what I wanted to do while I was in town I was like, well, I can't stand being around tons of assholes, esp if they're of the LA variety, so lets just do something chill. She was like, well lets just go walk around Forest Lawn then! We went to the Museum, saw the large mausoleums and checked out the grounds. I was extra stoked as they had Fig and Madrone trees on the grounds just like in DA HOMELAND so like the good lil' slav monkey I am, ran up into a tree to grab a quick taste :-)
This is the view down into one of the restricted basement areas:
My friend: "I've never been down there but have always wondered what it was like"
Me: "Thats probably where they rape and kill the kids, lol!"
A few more:
My friend mentioned this other building there but it was always closed and had never been inside. She literally lives in the same fucking area (Glendale) and it was the first time she's ever been to the building in question AND had no idea about the painting's existence outside of me being like- "I'd like to go see this crazy massive painting but I totally forgot everything about it". When we walked in the painting was in full view through the hall entrance doors and I was like- "Holy shit- this is the place!" Both aghast at what we accidentally and coincidentally stumbled upon, we excitedly entered the hall and headed down the walkway. As the full spectacle of The Crucifixion came into view, I couldn't help but think back to that calmness I felt while thanking my little butterfly buddy from the day before..
Then I flew home..
I anticipated its arrival not long after returning 2 THA JEEERRRRRZZZZ as it had a bit of a head start..
Thankfully it arrived intact tho the box essentially disintegrated after I took this photo like hoooooly shit, fucking thing lasted just long enough..
Here's what it looked like when you popped one of these bad boys open direct from Don at Anvil circa 2012:
Unlike Don, I had the option of lightening the load a bit by tossing what I could in my luggage..
Naturally I rehashed my old height adjustable rolling stand design with the help of metal supermarkets that had a set of smooth fitting size box tubing for the verticle beam that raises. I don't even want to talk about how I got the tubes to fit into each other in the original stand, lol so stupid..
The only steel I had lying around was some 2" box tubing which would've been fine had it not been 1/16th sidewall so I figured it could use a little extra bolstering..
So there you have it!:
Suffice it to say the cycling gods are VERY pleased with yours truly and if you know whats good for ya so should you..
You'll also be pleased to learn I picked up an anvil fork jig like a year ago as well:
Bitchin'..
That fork set up was part of the next build I had in mind before I began my little hiatus, lol can you guess what it'll be??? π
Here's another clue:
I made my selections and tossed it in that box over a decade ago..
Everyone could've enjoyed watching that beast and many others roll down the street but a lot of y'all chose to excoriate the very worst person and engaged in an endless amount blatantly obvious stupidity instead, fucking morons..
While it would've been more economical had I seen that the same guy who sold me the fork jig had previously sold the same anvil frame jig a couple of months earlier and only lived all of like 45 min away, it would've saved me two shit loads of time, money and effort but then I wouldn't have eaten yummy tacos or had quite as much fun suffering for the cycling gods. They knew they couldn't make things too easy for me in order to put my resilience to the test!
But no worries cause it was a solid time, a fantastic workout with solid food, good moods and lil duuuudes!
Cool shit yes no?
More cool shit to come as the Trinity Grail find series continues into 2026!!
Anywho, just figured I'd bang out one last fun post for the year and wish everyone:
A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
..and happy new year :-)
jk I hope all you twats got coal because y'all deserve it fr..
(This is probably the only time you'll ever read a story involving butterflies that doesn't take you straight to gaytown, lmfao)
