Gettin' all up in mah face!

Interesting cliche' NY occurrence the other night. Between hitting up the beach and showing my boy Ross a good time around town along with a SLAYTASTIC dinner at Brick Lane, I was pretty beat. When we got back to my lady's place it was pretty late but we needed to take her lil pup Niko out for a walk. In other words nothing out of the ordinary..

As we were walking I noticed a bunch of kids walking towards us from down the street. Now, normally my first though is- oh great, a bunch of ghetto kids. Note: I don't care what anybody says or what type, kind, or race ghetto kids are. They all fucking suck in a way that is so far beyond comparison I'm at loss for, well.. a comparison. Anyways, instead of my usual reaction I thought, shit, this dog is going to freak out and start barking like fucking crazy. So I tell my lady to pick up the pace so as not to offend anyone. We get to the corner where there's a garbage can and brightly lit deli. Next thing I know the group of ghetto kids are all around us and one is asking quietly for a dollar. He couldn't have been more than 15 and was half my size. His face is about as dark skinned as you can get with wicked bright white eyes. It was actually awesome how contrasty it was in the backlit bright white lights if the deli's storefront. Visual awesomeness aside, I knew this kid and his group of cohorts were out to harass and intimidate people out in the neighborhood for whatever scraps they could offer them. I can't even tell you how many INFURIATING stories I've heard of people getting fucked with by bands if kids just like this. Unfortunately I left my Glock 18 (that dude is HILARIOUS BTW) at home so I told my girlfriend to walk inside the store with me..

Now, whenever someone on the street asks me for money I try and make it a point to say: 'No, sorry man'. Like, I acknowledge your presence as a human being but it's not my fault you're a broke ass mother fucker and I decline your request to supply you with funds to shoot into your arm etc. I feel like people are rude enough to panhandlers as is so I'd rather not be total a dick about it..

So here I am in the store and I don't even need anything but the deli guys obviously don't want me just hanging around so I grab a drink real quick. As I'm paying I see my contrasty faced new friend staring at me like opening my wallet for someone else is my way of antagonizing him. Great..

He was blocking the doorway waiting for me to come out so I stood in front of him and took a swig. To which he replied 'You a soft nigga'. As if (AS IF!) my obvious attempt at avoiding him wasn't obvious enough. Like not only I'm on to you but I'm trying to avoid instigating something completely unnecessary. Which makes me 'soft' as opposed to, I dont know- smart maybe..? In any case, with the memories of various friends stories of others who've found themselves in similar situations drawing out that angry side of me I asked- 'Excuse me..?' To which he then responded by pointing his finger in my face and saying 'You a liar.' It was at that point that the preverbal beer bottle breaking sound rang in my ears..

That fucked up part of me, that we've all come to know and love, wanted nothing more than to barge out of that door, grab the kid by his waist and neck, get a running start and vault him into the side of the parked car 10' away. I mean I could almost hear that hollow sound sheet metal makes when it gets hit by something blunt with a lot of surface contact. Kind of like the sound two shields meeting on the FIELD OF BATTLE!! Okay, dorkiest comparison EVER but you know exactly what I'm talking about so go fuck yourself and watch 300 for the 10th time..

Instead, I chose to get right back up in his face and shouted- 'You know what?! If you knew the value of a dollar you wouldn't ask me for one! Do you see me walking up to you asking you for a dollar? NO! I WORK for a living! (admitting I that I've been sucking the off the teet of the unemployment office for the past 8 months wouldn't have helped solidify my point so I figured it was a good lie in this instance) 'I'm not trying to start with people out on the street at night because I've got nothing better to do! We're just out walking our dog and trying to mind our own business! I mean come on guys what do you think you're doing?! There's a police station on the other side of the block!!'

It was at that point my now dumbfounded friend must have thought- Wow, I never thought I'd see one of these un-frighten white people in my lifetime! His friends came to the same conclusion and urged him to walk away and he did so quietly. The guys at the deli insisted that I call 911 but I refused citing it was no longer an issue and I'd rather not waste the police's time. Lord knows being a block away wouldn't have helped them get there any faster than usual. Not to mention the fact that when I was those kids age I was all like- fuck you pig! And now I'm the one making the call to rat them out. It's like I'm one step away from waving a cane at kids yelling at them to get off my lawn. Fucking HATE that feeling!

We were about to walk off once they were down the block but then I saw them doing the same fucking thing to someone else. This dude (I use that word loosely) was half my size with a designer man bag so yeah, he didn't stand a chance. I saw him sheepishly reach into his purse to give them something to avoid getting into trouble. It was at that point that I finally made the call. It's one thing when I get fucked with, buts it's another when I have my lady with me or when I witness it happen to someone else who's (WAY) less capable of handling the situation. By less capable I mean less crazy and loud mouthed than I am..

We eventually walked home and naturally I spent more time writing than sleeping I was so worked up by the whole thing. Not so much because I was offended or any of that other butt hurt ego bullshit, but mostly cause it upset me as to how stupidly they acted. I mean, more so than some retarded conservative douche tard with a little bit of power and no dick..

That kid was super young and could have so much more going on in his life if he had even an iota of respect for himself. By the way he was dressed he obviously wasn't starving or in dire need of cash. I'm sure his life isn't filled with as many first world problems as my life might be but that's no excuse to act like a fucking idiot. Him and his buddies were just out for kicks and or experimenting. I mean, my friends and I did stupid shit when we were younger but I guess throwing pine cones at cars and leaving flaming bags of dog shit on people's doorsteps before ringing to doorbell just doesn't cut it for amusements in the city..

I PRAY that I see this kid walking down the street with his mom or something cause mmmMAN would I love to see him get a proper whopping! I'd have been more than happy to do it myself but then it likely would've been misconstrued into some hate crime or some shit like. That or my fat ass would've been stabbed by the cowardly fuckers. It's like, I don't care who the fuck it is that comes at me with some bullshit like that, there's no excuse for it and you'll get deserve sooner or later. I feel like with inner city kids, someone coming back at them verbally is more stunning than with violence. Seems like they see more of and are better capable of handling the latter. It's a fucking shame that my words and others seem to fall on broken and battered ears. No one should have to grow up like that..

Gettin' all up in mah face!