I hope to never be this happy...

...EVER

Having said that I would have absolutely NO PROBLEM being as cliché as possible by owning one of these and being from the Jerz:


I mean, really.. TRY and tell me that she ain't a beaut!

Although I have to say, 215hp out of a V8 made totally made me LOL big time! Shit, I'm pushing more than that right now out of a 2.4L four banger!!

With any luck I'll break my goal (and transmission) of 250hp with my next upgrade...

Speaking of cliché Jersey stuff, you've GOT to love a little Bon Jovi action ESP when he's not actually singing it..

Oh and these really, REALLY made me wish my car was black and not purple!

I was actually throwing around the idea of rattlecaning the entire car until the spark of reason washed over me and said: If you're going to do it at least buy a fucking spray gun!

Oh wait, I'm sorry.. This is a BIKE related blog isn't it? Shit.. Sorry about that!

Hmm.. Let's see.. Well these are super gay:


This 72' Paramount is still giving me a good chubby every time I see it:


as did this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and DEF this...

Ahahaha, well not so much that last one but hopefully having it up on your screen earned you some questioning looks. You really have NO IDEA how much weird shit I see on the internets while scouring for cycling related amusments..

Oh and speaking of orange things.. I've got two good ones for ya:

First off, this March 1990 issue of Bicycling Magazine that fucking esnipe missed due to a bad connection with ebay or some shit the fucking fuckers!


Which obviously bears a striking resemblance to one of the photos of my Jackson Phoenix:


Now that's just weird isn't it??!

ALSO..

I realized that my first 'real' bike was an all black, orange and red 88' Haro Invert:


That's right people, I'm still that 14 year old boy who's so infatuated with fire that I have to own things in a similar color range. That's the best photo I could find unfortunately. Here's the original 1988 Haro catalog. I KNOW I have it somewhere at my parents house. The catalog though, not the bike. I WISH I still had that bad boy. Some fucking asshole stole it while I was attempting to steal some cigarrettes or something. Oh shut up, you know you did stupid shit when you were younger too...

Lastly, something for all the Atheist meat eating metal punks out there:

No Gods, No Vegetables...

AWESOME fuckin' title man!!

I hope to never be this happy...