3Rensho posters hot off the FREE press!!!

Okay blueeffusion, the emails have been stacking up so I decided to just respond to you via blog post. As you stated you weren't really looking for anything part wise but would fancy something that would remind you of the blog etc.. Well, that was DEF the smart choice because yer dumbass would've gotten a big box of junk joke parts along with that flaming bag of shit you told me Fedex wouldn't be willing to ship for me, hehe.. So instead, I've decided it would be rad to just send you some bitchin' big ass posters of the 3Rensho since you were diggin' on it so much..

One of the fringe benefits of being employed to a company that's stupid enough to give yours truly 24/7 access to large Epson printers. That and I just also happen to be in charge of resupplying! ssssssSKOINKS!!!

So I hope you enjoy your 'prize' man! BTW if you put a single half moon kink in either of them I'm going to fucking kill you!!!

Also.. Should I be making shirts or offering other shit like that..? I mean, I've got some pretty amusing ideas but I have no idea if people would actually be into em..

3Rensho posters hot off the FREE press!!!

If you're looking to kill some time at work today...

Then this is it:

It's a new site from Christian Coomer that recently brought us the vastly popularity Fourteen Teeth blog roll site..

I just killed an hour something BSing on gchat and uploading my Renny. I'll probably toss the rest up there soon too.. Lord knows I'd rather be doing just about anything than retouching haggard soap stars faces..

If you're looking to kill some time at work today...

You may not like what this dude has to say...

...but you can't tell me there isn't a bit of brilliance in his words:

Why I don't Like Anything Besides BMX

I just fucking DIED reading that shit!

Sorry I haven't had much to share as of late. Still been super retardedly busy working on stuff and attempting to clean up my shit show of a shop. I'm hoping to have some photos to share VERY fucking soon..

Ebay has been pretty slim pickin's. I mean, there's always good shit on there but nothing has jumped out at me lately.. Okay, so there is this, this, this and you should defineatly bid and buy this:


I know, I was super stoked to get em but I decided to go with another group set due to some other stuff I already have and what I plan on buying from friends..

In other boring news, I went for an quick exploratory ride around Brooklyn with my friend Lady J. It was def a super fun ride through the wastelands of East Williamsburg and beyond.. Though for some reason I only took one measly photo..

God what a shitty post huh?? Well just you-

WAIT!!!

Wow I tooootally forgot about this until I just spotted the photos on my flickr looking for something else. I came up with an interesting way to make dropouts from some square box tubing I got at Home Depot:


Sorry, I totally don't feel like going any farther in describing the process other than my shitty chicken scratch stylus pen marks I put in there...

Anyways, just something I came up with while experimenting with various ideas that pretty much turned out to be vicious debacle BUT.. If you're looking to make a front rack or something it's not a bad way to go for a DIY build..

Okay, well hopefully that made this post slightly more amusing.. More to come soon!!!

You may not like what this dude has to say...

My brain really hurts...

From looking at THIS:

I HONESTLY DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW!!!

These also kinda made my brain hurt a little too:

Yup, that's right ladies.. Cinelli EARINGS..

..and this epileptic fit inducing wicked bright light up Monocycle from the closing ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics:

I haven't eaten yet so I think I'm going to do that. Then find an inappropriate place to horf it all up..

My brain really hurts...

Proof of perversion and the winner of the $3300 commuter contest!

Last week my good buddy ol' chum ol' pal Kristen axed me to shoot some behind the scenes photos at this metal fashion show for the new AOL metal blog called Noisecreep..

More on my flickr set..

If you think it looks like a bit of a clusterfuck it's because it was.. BUT.. I had a good time shooting AND.. had an even better time nerding out over the results of my 5DmkII camera. Freaking SICK detail in the low lights! I mean, check this shit out:

2000 ISO and HAND HELD! SO REDONK!!

Better still was the couple of pervy looking photos I found of myself on another photographers site from that night. I was kind of embarrased about the second one cause the way I'm leaning back badly accentuates my stomach making it look like massive.. Though at the same time had I known I was being photograped while photographing some woman, with a what appears to be a beer belly going on, I would've pulled my dong out and had a go at it! Imagine that same photo with only one hand on the camera and like a flesh colored motion blur over where my crotch is- ahaha! SO GROSS!! Real class act we got goin' on here eh..?

ANYways.. enough of that shit!! On to the winner of the $3300 fixie/commuter post!


I read through the comments and have to say that Chocobot and Chris_CHCH totally tied for second but blueeffusion takes first by a nose! Mostly because I've toyed around with the idea of getting only one of my eyes lasered just so I could sport a monocle myself..... I'm totally joking of course but that would be pretty amazing though wouldn't it??

So blueeffusion of Madison WI, holler at me with the rest of your address so I can send you a prize. Be sure and think of a few things you'd really like and or need and let me know. I'll see what I can do to make all your dreams come true..

The one point I'd like to make about this bike is the cost of $3300 the owner claims to have spent on a bike he never actually rode.. With the exception of the Bilenky, NONE of my bikes have cost more than that much to put together.. Granted there's a certain amount of luck involved, but if you're going to spend that much money, at least ATTEMPT to put something not completely retarded together..

Proof of perversion and the winner of the $3300 commuter contest!

Okay, so I'm going to take a break...

..from my usual hatorade fueled cuntitude and pose the question:

What do you think of this persons set-up they've currently got up for auction?:

Take a good look over all the photos. Read the description carefully. Tell me what you honest thoughts are on all things right and or wrong with it. Try to be calm cool and concise with your response..

BONUS QUESTION: If you had $3,300 to spend on quite possibly the coolest fixie/commuter bike possible, what would it be? Give me a basic run down of frame/wheels/group/acc..

Best response gets a PRIZE!

Okay, so I'm going to take a break...

Yamaguchi Kilo Pursuit tarck on the bay!

Haven't seen a gooch on ebay in a long ass time:

Here's a photo of one I used to own a while back just so you can get an idea of how it looks built up:

Kiochi will sell you a set of replacement decals for that frame for like $60 or so bones. Get a set and repaint the bitch if you buy it!

Yamaguchi Kilo Pursuit tarck on the bay!

Richie Jackson is like the raddest stoner skater EVER!

OMFG the last trick in this new Richie Jackson video I found had me LOLing loud enough to wake my neighbors!:

Then I had a look to see if there was anything else I hadn't seen of him and I found this next one. Seriously.. The double grab ROLL OFF the set of like 20 fuckin' stairs DESTROYED ME!!!

..aaand for those of you who missed the first video of his I posted a while back DEF be sure to check it out here..

Richie Jackson is like the raddest stoner skater EVER!

I think I'm going to have to call bullshit..

..on this Jack Spade sub-store for their misleading use of the phrase: Jack and Jimbo's Bicycle Shop

I was just passing by when I saw the eye catching orange graphics on their windows and thought- Oh now I HAVE to get a load of this shit!

Now when I see a sign that says bicycle shop I'm led to believe that behind it is, well.. a bike shop.. In this instance however, it was very far from it. But there's a first for everything! Unfortunately it was closed but I did manage to peep in a bit to see what the deal was:

To their credit they did have this wicked, wicked nice Custom SS Indy Fab Ti Townie:

So out of curiosity I called them just now.. On the other end of the phone was the sound of a woman's cute voice which of course threw me off for a second but I managed to find out what I needed. First of all, the Indy Fab is $5k.. and it's totally sick. While I won't get into the whole spending more than a couple of G's on a townie style bike thing, someone def does needs to go over there to toss a brick through the window and liberate that shit like STAT..

Now, here's the real clincher.. The Schwinn/Ross/Whatever cruisers or 'vintage bicycles' as they like to refer to them as, range from $250 to $500.. No, I'm not shitting you.. $250 to $500 for a bike you can find at any freaking garage sale for literally.. $10-20 bucks.. They claim that they're in good shape and have a 14 day warranty but that doesn't make up for the fact they're charging in rape dollars for em'..

Anyways, according to the cute voice, she said it's their concept store they're doing right now. They do have a guy who comes by to do repairs but from what I could tell they don't offer tubes, locks or any other parts that a REAL bike shop would sell..

So between the contrast of bikes, beyond retarded prices and the fact that it's just not a real bike shop.. I officially call bullshit on Jack and Jimbo's Bicycle Shop..

BTW, the only other mention of it I saw around the interwebs is this one at shophound.. In the article they mention that before they brought the 'bike shop' in there it was called Jack Spade's Fruitcake shop....... need I say more?

I think I'm going to have to call bullshit..

This would be awesomer if...

...he was somehow hooked into the alternator or something to make the drive more green..


Cyclist Training on Top of Moving Car - Watch more Funny Videos

Granted it's not real but still..

This would be awesomer if...

Rediculous track frame for sale indeed!

Bridgestone PM90!


Just don't do this to it if you buy it...

Rediculous track frame for sale indeed!

Old footage I totally forgot about from the Jackson shoot!

I was just archiving a bunch of personal files I have on my computes at work when I came across this:



AWESOME!! Totally spaced on it...

Thanks again to Lyle for coming down to third earth with me and stoking my flame

Old footage I totally forgot about from the Jackson shoot!

Now this really takes the cake!

$798 for a NOS cinelli Demi Fond stem and bars?!!!

And here I was bummed I missed the auction end for a second.. The sad thing is, believe it or not that price isn't completely outrageous..

Now this really takes the cake!

Not one but TWO sssSICK track monsterz!!!

First I saw this Griffen:

But this Custom Litespeed Blade Ti Track frame killed me!

SO SICK!!

I've had my eyes out for a 57cm road version in decent shape since they've got track drops but no dice so far. This one's looks pretty bitchin' though!

Not one but TWO sssSICK track monsterz!!!

Hoooooo boy oh boy.. Not making any friends with this one!

So I finally got around to watching the B.I.K.E. film for the first time last night. I remember seeing the trailer when it first came out and have essentially been avoiding like the plague. The problem is that I didn't make the association between the trailer and the DVD I was given until it was too late. Though it wasn't long before I realized the depth of my folly because I'd compare the experience to watching a David Lynch film:

I WANT THE LAST TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK!!!!

Quite possibly one of the most pathetically depressing pieces of shit I've seen to date. Not the film itself of course.. Just like the narcissism and depravity of it all.. I actually think the filmmaker did a really good job with it.. I mean, you really can't say bad things about a film documenting white plight now can you?!

I reeeally enjoyed the scene where they DROVE to the Chinos event with a Mercedes and a FUCKING LANDROVER.. It's like, yeah, cars and SUVs totally suck! except when we need em' of course. I personally can't think of a better way to transport a bunch of hippie vegan, dumpstering by choice, drunken bicycle punk types than a couple of expensive suburban vehicles..

SIDE NOTE: One of my favorite, favorite, FAVORITE things EVER.. Right next to hearing about the Yankees losing, not because I give two shits about syndicated sports, I just love seeing what it does to people here in NYC.. Is when I see ultra liberal cigarette smokers. I.. LOVE IT.. It's like, I'm glad you're preaching all this wonderful shit to me but did you ever really consider who you're supporting by buying those stupid fucking things???

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for being positive about cycling, being proactive and all that great stuff but honestly, it strikes me as being a bit more like a bunch of masochists getting together for the sake of getting together for the sake of self destruction in the name of something that they feel should be heard by all but too exclusive to ever be shared or something. But you know, life is tough when you're in your mid twenties and you lead a party life in Brooklyn. You gotta stick together with ya peeps naaahhmmeeeeeaaann? Then again it could just be me because applying the whole 'outlaw' thing to anything other than you know.. being an actual outlaw.. really rubs me the wrong way. Kind of like when someone gives themselves their own nickname. It's like- you just don't do that!

Nevermind the fact that it's super annoying when well off artsy suburban kids get so sucked into the romance of a scene that they feel the need to explore it by hitting rock bottom or some shit.. As if that's even possible when they have a supportive family somewhere that they can always scurry back to and listen to them being like: 'Hurry the fuck up with that shit and act your fucking age already!' That or they exploit it and I'm stuck despising things like flat brimmed ball caps, all over print hoodies, and just about anything else with shitty graphics all over EVERYTHING. But oooh it's 'street culture'! Seriously, fuck-fucking off with that street culture bullshit!! 90% of that garbage came from kids watching The Warriors or Breakin' at mom and dad's house and thought it was real 'fly' or whatever lame euphemism kids were using in the 90's that they heard on Living Color.. Then somehow morphed all that into shitty 'art' that people are stupid enough to buy into.. God.. When is this ultra trendy poorly rehashed 80's Basquiat shit EVER GOING TO END??!!!

...sorry.. that's just a constantly boiling kettle I've got that occasionally needs to let off some steam...

oooookay now.. Since I've spent the beginning of this post being a total judgmental asshole.. I'll try to make it up with positivity, love, caring and things worth spooging all the fuck over...

First of all, I re-found this website documenting a super gnarly collection of bicycles:

The Embacher Collection


Now I'm sure a lot of you have already seen this shit but here are some of my personal favs anyways:


I hope you can appreciate my posting these photos on here since the freaking site is in flash.. I know I've seen that site before when it first came up but there wasn't nearly as many bicycles on there as there are now..

I spotted this gnarly NOS Pinarello on the bay:


But what I was really interested in is that fucking mmmmMENTAL looking green frame on the right hand side wall of his creepy apartment:


Prreeeetty bitchin'!

Also noticed this wicked Colnago tarck is back up again:


What, no matching gold post..?

I totally forgot to post these shitty iphone photos of this rad chick's bike that was locked outside of my office last week:


Well.. It had BETTER be a chick's bike anyways...

OMG and check this awesome rat rod trike!:


SO lovin' on those fatty boom-batty wheels!

Oh ANNNDDDD.. Who else had their guts completely ripped the fuck out by the shit that Boomer pulled on the latest episode of BSG??

If you have no idea what that means it's because there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.... and you're super gay..

Oh and shit.. I almost forgot! Check out this kick ass RSS feed site called:

fourteenteeth

Seattle Cyclist Christian Coomer put it together and was cool enough to toss my blog on there too- Thanks man!

Lastly.. I'm sorry I haven't had anything more original to share as of late. Most of my time has been spent working on my shop rather than in it. I've been rebuilding and reorganizing everything so it's more of a proper work space than just a bunch of fucking shit all over the floor. It's actually pretty damn close right now. All I need to do is find myself a nice thick sheet of steel for a welding station. I've been lurking around the backs of many an industrial building in the Jerz hoping to spy a piece of scrap to no avail. There's this place called Lewisohn by me that sells all kinds of good shit made of metal. Only problem is I'd have to buy a whole sheet of 4' x 8' and have them cut it down. Which wouldn't be a problem if it didn't cost $250 and all I really need is a 3' x '4ish size piece.. Anyone wanna go in with me on this one perchance??

In any case, once said table is completed I can get back to work on the Mutandem project. I'm also in the middle of another project which is nearing completion. Though you don't get to hear anything about that one til it's done..

Plenty of photos and OUTLAW BICYCLE MAYHEM coming very soon!

Hoooooo boy oh boy.. Not making any friends with this one!

wwwwhy hello...

...hello,


helllloooo there!

wwwwhy hello...

Oh snap, here's another one from NAHBS: Cilo Custom!

So rad...

Oh snap, here's another one from NAHBS: Cilo Custom!

Two Brand Spanking new Geekhouse NAHBS bikes on the bay right now!

I'm not super into these types of bikes but I def get a kick out of seeing post show bikes for sale..

Two Brand Spanking new Geekhouse NAHBS bikes on the bay right now!

Nothing better than a frame...

...with a little history under it's belt:

Nothing better than a frame...

Don't ever, ever, ever, EVER...

...let me catch any of you little monkies riding around on something as FOUL as this monstrosity:

Nothing pains me more than to see super nice, and super expensive carbon race frames like that used for trendy around town wheelie fixers with risers and or chopped drops. So. fucking. LAME!!!

So let's see.. We've got a SICK Bridgestone Anchor frame which looks even SICKER with the nice gloss black finish. But then you've got all the pink.. Which, if done right could look pretty awesome BUT.. then you've got the super girly little stars on the front wheel. Which makes my balls shivel up like a wrinkled Kiwi just looking at em..

The rear Aerospok almost seems appropriate for this frame since it's an 'Anchor' model. Fucking Aerospokes.. I hate to say it but looks ain't everything people! I'm a fan of a lot of things but not something that's obnoxiously overweight and sluggish..

The bars.. Wow those FUCKing bars are just retarded on that frame. Granted I never really understood the whole chop and not flip bar thing, but on this frame it just seems like a terrible travesty. At least put some normal bars on there so you can fuckin' RACE the thing!

Though the real pièce de résistance is those godforsaken PLASTIC toe clips! WTFF??!!!!! First of all if you're going to own that frame you shouldn't be riding anything but clipless pedals. Douchetard needs to get on that shit STAT!

Now I know most of you out there have MUCH better taste than that otherwise you wouldn't be frequenting my blugblugblug.. But seriously.. Don't let me catch you riding some shit like that or you'll see a quick flash the moment after the back of my hand impacts your fuckin' face...

Don't ever, ever, ever, EVER...